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Oil-based lubricants are not just unsafe for use with condoms but can also interact badly with toys made of soft plastic or rubber, causing the devices to disintegrate or to leach chemicals (PDF). Silicone lubricants are great for anal play, but unfortunately they interact negatively with silicone toys. Our testers found that the toy fits nicely in the palm of the hand and is small enough to tuck into a travel bag or hide in a drawer. The tapered oval shape fits nicely against the vulva, with vibrations focused at the tip of the toy for clitoral stimulation. The toy is also flat enough (about 1 inch thick) for easy positioning between bodies during intercourse.

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Meanwhile, stainless steel and borosilicate glass toys are harder and heftier, which makes them optimal for applying pressure. The Ruby Glow Massager contours to your body—one side has raised ridges that you can grind your vulva against, while the other features a smooth nub that targets your perineum. Each side has its own motor, so “you can either rock back and forth along the toy silicone inserted pointed nozzle anal douche, or simply sit down on it and let the vibrations do all the leg work,” Finn tells SELF. The Lelo Gigi is a classic G-spot vibrator—and the latest version doesn’t disappoint. The ultra-quiet toy has a uniquely flattened tip that makes it easier to find and stimulate the hot spot.

Toys used during solo play (like vibrators or wand vibrators) also work well in partnered settings. If you’re new to this, those classics are a great place to begin. Corinne Sullivan is an Editor at Cosmopolitan strap on sex toys, where she covers a variety of beats, including lifestyle, entertainment thump steel cuff silicone suction metal plug, relationships, shopping, and more. She can tell you everything you need to know about the love lives of A-listers, the coziest bedsheets silicone strap ball gag, and the sex toys actually worth your $$$.

If you’re looking for a non-penetrative vibrator that will still do the trick, the Zumio X is your best bet. Its small tip provides precise stimulation, while its long and sturdy handle allows you to control your experience. After it’s fully charged, it provides around four hours of usage.

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